You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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