that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
