and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dicks are not precious.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
