Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
