Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize