Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
