I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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