Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
