Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
