There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
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I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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