I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
