guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize