Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
