didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
