woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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