Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
