ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have demons in me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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