Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
