so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
