Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
