I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
