Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
