Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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