You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
