i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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