i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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