maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
