Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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