eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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