If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You're so nebulous sometimes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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