It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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