How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
