Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
