8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
