Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
