we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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