I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
