i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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