Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
