Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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