the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is my gift to your gina
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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