i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
