They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
