I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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