nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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