Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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