Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
