Define "chronic" masturbator.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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