Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
