These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
