I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize