whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
