i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize