goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
