thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
