I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
