bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
