try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
